Spy Spoof
by Ryuusquall
Summary: What happens when a spy ends up talking to the wrong guy, just a lot weirder and more random and stuff


One day a random stranger sat down on a bench next to a stunningly pretty, no, wait, handsome 18 year old with blond hair and brown eyes. Somehow he managed to convey the sense of being an innocent, younger then he looked individual, while also coming across as a cool, calm, killing machine. No mean feat there.

The random stranger who doesn't need a name since he's a random stranger hadn't wanted to sit on the bench with a young man who looked as though he was about to burst into tears, weep out the incredible story of his amazing, and down right illegal life before promptly killing said random stranger using only his little finger and a broken toothpick,

But he had to since bench for miles around in this ominously secluded park. Why not sit on the grass then? Well…umm.., he was allergic to grass!

The handsome young man glanced over at the random stranger as he unwrapped a cling filmed sandwich. "What have you got in your sandwich?" He asked in impressive and secretive tones, eyebrows raised for extra effect.

The random stranger- no, wait, its not fair for a character to have no name. And he can't just be called some strange animal name like Chicken, Eagle, Dog or Wolf, that would be just plain stupid. So lets call him the first thing that comes into my mind… Alex Rider!

Oh, that already taken, isn't it?... Ok, second thing to come into my head… Banana Bacon Sandwich Face! Yay!

Soooooooo, as I was saying, Banana Bacon Sandwich Face looked down at his sandwich then up at the guy who was staring at him waaaaaaay too intently for his liking with his muddy brown eyes.

"It's a banana bacon sandwich" Banana Bacon Sandwich Face replied. The boy's eyes lit up. That was the prearranged phrase he had been hoping to hear! They had picked it because the idea of someone actually having a banana bacon sandwich was so yucky; there was no chance of some random stranger accidentally giving him the correct password. And they where right, since he was no longer a random stranger but Banana Bacon Sandwich Face.

"Do you have the package?" The young man asked, once again in overly the top, self important tones that sent his eyebrows flying into space. (Yes, he's back to being a Youngman, despite being called a boy a few lines ago. They grow up so fast…)

Banana Bacon Sandwich Face blinked. (Actually, he had blinked several times prior, I just didn't bother mentioning it.) "What package?" "You know! The package!" The young blond man said, his eyebrows trampolining up and down as they tried to convey the secret meaning of the words.

Banana Bacon Sandwich Face had no idea what he was talking about, and so simply repeated, "What package?". The young man, (Ok, I'm bored of calling him that) Alex sighed. These agents where getting thicker by the second! "The package! You know, the one that contains the secret password to controlling the worlds nuclear warheads, the details for my next mission and Mr. Blunts surprise 290th birthday plans!"

Banana Bacon Sandwich Face man looked round, and spotting a man on another bench that he hadn't noticed till then, said "Umm, sorry, you've got the wrong guy, what about that oddly suspicious looking man over there?"

Alex Rider apologized, secretly thinking that Banana Bacon Sandwich Face must be some sort of freak to actually be eating a Banana Bacon Sandwich, and headed over to the other man. He was dressed in an awful, bright, patterned top and blue shorts, with black sunglasses and a small earpiece- communication type device. So all in all he looked so obviously an agent in disguise, there was no way he couldn't be. Alex Rider sat down next to him and asked, "What do you have in your sandwich." While pointing towards a power rangers lunch box next to the man. The man looked round and gasped, "Cub!" "wolf!" Alex gasped back. They gave each other a big hug then started to beat each other up. Suddenly the rest of k-unit appeared from nowhere and also started beating each other up. Then Yassen, Ian, Tom and all the other characters who had ever been in the Alex Rider books magically appeared as well and all started yelling stuff. Then they all get hit by K-units and Alex's flying fists and so started fighting as well.

Then some sassy, beautiful, half American, half Canadian girl with absolutely no muscles or fighting training came along and beat everyone up and they all died happily ever after.

And just because I was taught never to end a story with The End: THE END!


End file.
